Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I’m 46 and I spent the majority of the last 24 years being a working mom. I worked full time at Costco for 10 years and then returned to school to obtain my bachelor’s degree in Dental Hygiene. My main priority has always been my two sons and helping them become good people. When I look back, with wiser eyes, there are things I would’ve done differently but I know I never took a moment with them for granted.
When 20 years of marriage ended, the boys were on their way to independence, and I started to focus on activities that would bring me joy and fill the time that I used to spend shuttling back and forth between school, music lessons, concerts, friend’s houses etc. I tried fishing, pottery, house projects, working more (lol), but in the end I chose bikes, bicycles to be specific. I had a hard tail mountain bike that I purchased years ago to go on family bike rides down the Centennial Trail in Spokane, but the kids were so busy most of the time that It started collecting a lot of dust in the garage. Unfortunately, at that point in my life I had spent a little too much time watching the news which occasionally reported bike vs car accidents and episodes of Dateline highlighting the dangers of being a woman alone on trails. I had become risk adverse. Still determined to dust off my bike, I asked around and found Trail of the Coeur d’Alenes, a 73 mile paved path between Plummer and Mullan Idaho. I decided I would start with 5 miles, and as I headed out, I passed a family who were studying the trailhead map and pondering how difficult it would be to turn around and climb up the 3-5% grade to get back to the car. That worried me as I glided down the path easily on a gentle downhill slope, and my worry escalated as I pedaled into the seclusion of the woods and thought of mountain lions lurking behind rocks and trees. After about 3.5 miles I decided to turn around as it was starting to get dark and I wasn’t sure how long it would take to pedal back and if my slow uphill speed would make me a more vulnerable target. It turned out that it was a fairly quick trip back to the car and having overcome a fear, I was looking forward to returning. My next ride was 50 miles and I was sore, but I was also hooked. The combination of peace, the beauty of nature and the physical challenge was pure bliss. It wasn’t long until I bought my first used gravel bike, Loki, yes I named it, a peculiarity that I later found was not uncommon. The God of Mischief, understandable since it was black, carbon and with my feet clipped in, had lead me to fall over more than once.
Two months later I met Jake in the middle of training for Ride the Hurricane. A ride that I foolishly signed up for based on how cool it looked and not paying attention to the 5,300 ft climb completed in 20 miles. I was still new to cycling long distances and had not thought about elevation until a patient pointed out that the ride was probably not for beginners. Oh well! I started doing “repeat” laps up a short hill in my neighborhood but it didn’t test endurance as much as I would have liked. When I met Jake he offered to put a road/gravel route together for me that would meet the challenge. I didn’t know that there were strange people like him who enjoyed pulling up their Ride with GPS app to pore over heat maps and route secret ways to pedal through the city on lightly trafficked back-roads. A rare breed of human that I happened upon in the moment I needed it most. He asked if I wanted company on the ride, and since gravel roads and following complicated routes was new to me, I said yes. The ride was filled with a comforting amount of jibber jabber from a man that was an open book. At the top of one of our climbs he offered me a bite of some type of bikey snack. I wasn’t accustomed to sharing food with strangers (risk adverse) but I took it, not wanted to be rude or too uptight, which despite my attempts I found out later that “uptight” was exactly how I presented. That 24.68 mile ride with 1931 ft of elevation turned into a lunch date which turned into a drive to Costco so I could buy a paddle board because he made those sound pretty cool. Costco was out of paddle boards, but what I had found that day was way more than I had every hoped for, a person who was my brand of weird!
I am still less of a risk taker than my partner in crime. I tend to spend a little extra time weighing the risks vs benefits and considering paths and possible outcomes with back up plans. Regardless, I have always been willing to try new things and when my sights are set on a goal, I feel capable. That feeling has grown by observing other people doing amazing things and by having a person who shares the same interests, but with a different set of skills and enthusiasm that compliments what I have to offer. When videos of women mountain bikers started to pop up on my social media feeds, my curiosity was sparked and I decided to give it a whirl. Even though it was scary and new, it helped to see other women doing it , and it helped that Jake, who has been riding bikes since he was a kid, could show me the ropes. When conversations about our youth lead to the realization that we both loved the ocean, we invested time and energy into ocean kayaking and kayak packing. It quickly became apparent that the thought of traveling by way of the ocean really made our hearts sing, and we started to explore the idea of a life on boat. In his youth, Jake had gained experience on boats, we are both driven and hard working so I knew we were entirely capable of pursuing this new dream. My excited but cautious mind began to wrap around that idea several times to understand what that meant for me. I gave up the vision of grandchildren running around in the house and yard I had worked so hard on remodeling over the years. We both gave up a summer and fall season of riding bikes to get my house ready to sell, and consolidate funds with the hope of beginning our adventures on the sea.
Now we are in the middle of figuring out the next steps to make a sailing life a reality. Remodeling our house to open the possibility of creating a rental income, exploring new ways of working as we travel, discussing ways to bring joy to others when we are abroad, and living a lifestyle that involves a lot of effort and grit but is not about keeping pace with the consumerism that most of us are trained to chase. An unexpected gift has been exploring communities online where people are doing great things every day, whether it’s baking, painting, biking or sailing. It has helped me dream bigger and has increased my sense of what is possible for me. I hope I can share that same feeling of capability as I continue on my journey with Jake 🙂
